Lacking and slacking

Well - I just wrote an entire blogpost before my stupid computer decided to wipe it all clean. Thanks computer! Now I have to start all over, and when you are a professional procrastinator that is really difficult!

Anyhow - I decided to update my blog while i'm sitting not paying attention to class anyway. Classical me. But why shouldn't I - it's the best time of the day to to it! I get to look really intensely at my computer and pretend to take notes while I frequently look up at my teacher with a meaningful look in my eyes. I'm pretty sure he knows I'm totally far gone and  have gotten nothing useful out of this lesson. Too bad!

I'm feeling really tired lately. Not the 'I-don't-feel-like-doing-anything-productive tired, but really bone-tired. I don't feel like doing anything other than staying home alone, watch bad TV, and sulk. I have no idea why! I wish I could just Carpe Diem the fuck out of my life, get fit, get smart and do some really cool things... And I guess that the recipe to that life isn't that complicated. Get the hell off my ass and go work out, run, eat healthy - do my homework, get a kickass study-job and just cease the opertunities that once in a while fall into my lab. But I can't find it in my self to do so. And as seeing most people are totally ordinary like me, it seems like most people feel that way. And it's really sad - why wouldn't I just try to become the best version of myself as possible?

But I guess it just isn't easy like that. Looking back at my post about motivation, it's probably to do with inspiration vs. motivation and just me being a lazy procrastinating SOAB!

Gonna keep you updated if there is any change or progress! - Don't count on the progress though.

Cheers

Soffy

Ripples in the foundation

So, I was thinking that I really have to get this blog going again. I know - it isn't really very convincing of me to start a blog and then go AWOL after the first week. But... you know - it's classic me. I had other stuff to do, you know - like TV and sleeping.

No, for real, my level of procrastinating have reached new heights - I try to scam my way out of most things and I haven't done my homework in weeks. But I have kept up with my assignments, work and training - so I got that going for me, which is nice! haven't done anything creative though, and I have really been thinking about that. One of the main reasons for starting this blog was that I wanted to create something creative, and I suppose that one could argue that blogging was creative, but in my opinion that is only true when it is original and well executed - and I can't really be arsed to do that.

I have all these creative friends who I'm really jealous of - people who use their talent wherever it may lay. They sing, write song, books or paint. Some of them just follow their passion in some way, which makes it as much art as painting in my opinion. I would really love to follow a passion like that, really love to create something that was based on strong emotion and feeling - something that people would admire or envy. Maybe that's a bit conceited - but hey - judge me all you want.

Anyhow, tried to write a poem about a night that meant a lot to me. It's probably wildly out of context - but I don't feel like trying to explain it right now.

Cheers
Soffy


Instant ripples in my solid foundation
Grey eyes to blue eyes
In a laughing moment
Fear and laughter bubbling up
From a wound gone unnoticed
Healed for the night

Instant smiles handed out like candy
Rough hand to soft hand
In a breathless moment
floating and falling at once
jumping at the chance
to be happy for a night

Instant trust given to a stranger
Coarse beard to soft cheek
In an unforgiving moment
Wishing so hard it hurts
Counting the regrets
Of things never given

Instant sorrow of a loss
Empty hand to empty promise
In a never ending moment
Knots and butterflies in the stomach
Of knowing what will never be
This night and every night